Mel’s Divine Intervention (2015)
O Muse, grant me the words
Carry my cry to Olympus on wings
Faster than the night
On swiftest wings
Bring divine light
To this darkest of worlds
To extinguish this flame
Under which this world burns
The night was dark and, well, honestly, a little hazy. But who can’t deny overindulging just a little when Bacchus brings his best wine. It was a party after all and what kind of Muse would I be if I didn’t keep it bumping. Some dance to remember, others to forget. I just happen to use alcohol and parties as a way to cope with my job; but so would you if you were the Muse of tragedy! It’s some depressing shit!
Anyway, all I remember is that Hermes and I had stumbled to the edge of the party for a little fun when I hear this annoying ringing in my head. I try to ignore it but it keeps getting louder. Next thing I know I trip over my heels and fall through the sky right through some stupid peasant’s thatched-roof cottage. Sorry, I mean poor, mortal soul’s house. So I’m laying on the ground, my toga and hair completely disheveled, when I see this guy kneeling by his bed. I mean, who does that? It’s so “Ancient Greek”, you know what I mean? Most Romans at least have some dignity when they pray to us.
As soon as I fall through the roof this guy sees me and jumps back like he’s about to make for the door. What did he expect when he prayed to the gods? Someone to not come crashing down from the heavens? Gods are usually a little more graceful, but hey, I’m just saying. He seemed a little skittish.
The scene’s a little awkward, me with my hair and clothes everywhere, him cowering in the corner of his little room. Of course it’s my job as the deity in the situation to make everything alright. So I stand up, brush myself off, fix my hair and stand as tall as I can. He gets one look at me and drops to his knees like he’s never seen a god before. And, get this, he starts groveling. Who does he think I am, Apollo? Sorry, I mean Mars. The Greeks might have been pathetic but they at least gave us cool names.
So I look down at him and I promise I’m not going to smite him or whatever horrible thing he thinks is going to happen. He eventually gets up and looks me in the eye and I can’t help but think I’ve seen him before. He looks so familiar. But, hey, I was still pretty drunk, and everyone starts to look familiar when your vision gets blurry.
So after I straighten out my hair and toga I wow him with my well-rehearsed introduction as Mel the Muse of Tragedy. Not that it does any good because he’s never heard of me. Who’s never heard of me? Especially the Romans! They’re all about tragedies. Most powerful empire in the world and they’re obsessed with finding reasons to be depressed. Not that I’m complaining. So then I tell him my full name, Melpomeme, and I get a flicker of recognition. I hate it when I have to do that. Who names their kid Melpomeme? It’s a tragedy, pun intended I guess.
So, he tells me that his name is Thomas and that he has been praying to the gods for days to come save his village from the deadly chimera that has been terrorizing his people. I guess we didn’t hear him since we were partying and I was the first one to stumble his way. I don’t tell him that of course and say that the other gods were probably busy on important business but I’m perfectly equipped for things like this.
He believes me, of course, and then launches into one of the most depressing stories I’ve ever heard, which is saying something. He tells me about how the men in his family have been the guardians of their village for generations until his father was killed by the chimera. Now it is his duty to protect his home but he wants to avenge his father’s death. Unfortunately, his father died before he could teach him everything about chimera-slaying or whatever, so the monster has been ravaging his town and he has watched countless numbers of his friends die. They had apparently tried moving the village a few times but the chimera kept finding them. Countless quests had been launched to stop his reign of terror but everyone who went out never returned.
When he finished I was crying a little but I promised to help him. I told him that first we needed to rest and wait for daylight. I made something up about the power of the sun and Apollo’s divine providence but in reality I had a massive hangover that was starting to set in that I needed to sleep off and Apollo didn’t really give a shit about mortals. Who was I to burst this guy’s bubble, though? We had to share his bed because there was no way I was sleeping on the ground. Not that I really had much to complain about though because this mortal was fine!
We woke up pretty early the next morning and I still had a raging headache but the sun was pretty bright and this guy was ready to go. His weapons were polished and everything and I figured the sooner we got this quest over with the better.
We started by traveling back to the site of his old village, which was surprisingly not very far from where the village is now. It was right around sunset when we got there. There wasn’t much left, just some rubble here and there and some buildings that had managed to stay half-erect. I stayed off to the side to avoid walking through that mess in my heels while I watched him step through all the rubble and ash until it looked like he recognized something. He stopped and kneeled. He closed his eyes and it looked like he was saying something. I couldn’t hear or see anything so I carefully walked over to him, only tripping once or twice, which is pretty good considering I sank down into a few inches of ash every time I put a foot down!
Anyway, I walked up just as he was finishing what sounded like a prayer. He stood up and looked at me and pointed to a small mound of rocks he had built. He told me that it was a monument to his old home and his parents. Every time he went to that place he apparently said a prayer to his parents. How sweet is that? I was wondering if this kid was at least a demi-god or something and why he was single. Good looking and sentimental. That’s definitely not something you see every day! He started to tear up a little so, being the goddess that I am, I put an arm around him to comfort him; and let me tell you, his shoulders felt divine! We stayed like that for awhile until it started to get dark and my feet started to ache from the heels. The party attire I was in wasn’t exactly quest-appropriate but when a mortal summons you, it’s a “come as you are” situation. I don’t make the rules.
Apparently Thomas had been waiting for night though because as soon as the sun set he started searching through the wreckage again. He eventually found what he was looking for and called me over to see a glowing orange patch in the ground. He explained to me that the chimera burns the ground with his paws when he walks and if the tracks are fresh enough you can still see the glowing embers from its paws. I watched closely as he followed the tracks with his eyes, leading into the nearby woods. This guy was smart. I mean he was basically the whole package. I just wish I hadn’t screwed things up!
So we followed the tracks into the woods until the trees became so dense they blocked out even the moonlight and it was pitch black except for the glowing tracks we were following. If I hadn’t been a goddess I might have been a little scared for my life. Animals make some creepy sounds at night. We stopped at the base of a mountain that the chimera obviously climbed but we could no longer see the tracks since you can’t burn rocks so we made camp in a nearby cave. We couldn’t light a fire because we didn’t want to attract attention so I suggested we sleep close together for warmth.
While we were laying there in the dark, Thomas started crying. He started to tell me about how his father used to take him out every morning while the rest of the village was still asleep and have him listen to the sounds around him. They would sit there in silence for hours just watching the animals. He said that it was always his favorite part of the day. Just him and his dad. He never knew his mom. His dad would tell him that she was a woman of incredible beauty who blessed him with a son before she passed away. At this point I started tearing up a little and he continued, telling me about how his dad taught him to track different animals and also how to use a sword since he would one day become the guardian of the village after him. At this point he had rolled over to face me. I know this because I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face. Anyway, one thing lead to another and the emotional vulnerability of the moment drew us together and we kissed. He was a good kisser too. I remember that. It felt so familiar, like we knew each other’s bodies and we had done this before. We each got caught up in the moment and we totally did it right there in the cave! It blew my mind. No one had made me feel like that in a long time. I can say that I fell asleep completely satisfied that night. Twice over even. If you know what I mean.
I woke up the next morning when a chill breeze swept through the cave. I reached my arm out to pull Thomas closer to me but he was not there. I sat up and found that he had draped his coat over me and was sitting at the mouth of the cave, staring out at the forest around us. Such a gentleman! I just wished he had known what a late start was. I slowly got up, got dressed and joined him at the mouth of the cave. He silenced me when I bent down to kiss him and followed his finger as he pointed out to the forest. I was a little upset until I saw what he was pointing at. There, not one-hundred meters from the cave, was the chimera!
It just stared at us for a second with its fiery orange eyes and bared its teeth. I side-stepped behind Thomas a little. I may be a god but I still don’t like the sensation of being burned or bit by a wild animal. So while I’m wondering whether or not my new lover is gonna’ get ripped to shreds, I see him slowly start walking toward the chimera! He’s just staring it down. Neither of them break eye contact like they’re having a staring contest. Thomas has his sword drawn and when he gets close enough, the chimera starts to circle him. At this point I’m sure I’m about to have to inspire some playwright to write the epic tragedy of Thomas when the chimera stops moving, sits down on it haunches and starts talking.
Thomas is a little taken aback, as am I. Who knew this thing could talk! I guess if people ran at me with swords and pitchforks I wouldn’t talk much either. Once I realize it’s not gonna’ kill us I step up next to Thomas and hear what he’s got to say. Apparently his den is very close to the village and he is just trying to protect his family. He then goes on to tell us that he is sorry for killing Thomas’ father but he was just trying to avenge his father’s death. Apparently Thomas’ dad was responsible for killing Typhon. Small world. With this new information Thomas realizes that he and the chimera aren’t so different, apart from being completely different species of course. Then they become friends! How crazy is that! They make a deal that he will leave Thomas and his village alone if he gets his village to leave him and his family alone. Everything is shaping up well and it looks like it’s about to be my first happy ending when the chimera drops some serious knowledge on us. He says he’s happy to see Thomas reunited with his mother.
That’s when it all comes crashing back to me. That’s why Thomas looked so familiar! Last time I was on earth, I had visited a village and stayed with Thomas’ dad, the hero who had killed Typhon. I had left after giving him a baby to take care of. Who has time to raise a kid when you’re a goddess. Satisfying mortals is an endless time-suck!
So this kid was a demi-god; and he was my son. Talk about Oedipal issues. I guess the Romans do have it right. So after creating yet another tragedy, I excuse myself from the situation and head back to Olympus while Thomas, now in tears and scarred for life, rides back to his village on the chimera.
Of course my first stop was this tavern. I can’t imagine a better place for an immortal to go after sleeping with her son. You’d think I’d be used to all this tragedy by now but I’m not. Honestly, as much as everyone tries to cover it up, I don’t think anyone gets used to it. We just get better at hiding it and finding ways to move on with our lives. I use alcohol. Thomas uses quests and slaying monsters. One might be more productive than the other but they both serve the same purpose. They both distract us from the inevitability of tragedy in our lives and the hope that we can do enough good in our lifetime to make up for all the bad. Divine intervention can’t solve all your problems. I hope the mortals figure that out someday and maybe one day they’ll take responsibility and learn how to be grateful for the lives we give them and stop just asking us for shit; because gods know I’m sick of being their personal therapist. It’s depressing!
So that’s my tale. Hope you guys enjoyed it. With my luck it’ll make it into a book someday and everyone will read the tale of Thomas and the Chimera, or something catchy like that. I hate being in titles.